Assertive communication

– becoming a cooperative colleague

PURPOSE

A successful interlocutor follows the three key rules of a good dialogue: 1) listen to, consider, and respect others, while ensuring that others listen to, consider and respect you; 2) monitor your responses and your interlocutors’ responses, which affect the course of the dialogue, and learn which to follow up on and which to avoid; 3) reach a common goal – although there are different ways of achieving this, the best and the most efficient is through assertive communication.

Assertive communication is the way to building good interpersonal relations and achieving desired results. It is also important to know how to reach a common goal while considering individual interests, and learn how to guide a dialogue with people (e.g., your colleagues) who behave disruptively and jeopardise the common goals and results.

CONTENT

1. COMMUNICATING

• How do we usually communicate?
• Dos and Don’ts.
• Aggressive (fight strategy), passive (flight strategy) and passive-aggressive behaviour (manipulation or double messages).
• Short-term and long-term effects of such behaviour.
• The impact of aggressive/passive non-verbal communication.
• Stopping aggressive/passive behaviour in favour of assertive behaviour.

2. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

• What is assertive behaviour?
• The advantages of using the I am ok, you are ok principle in dialogues.
• Respect as the basis of assertiveness.

3. RESPONDING ASSERTIVELY TO ENSURE OTHERS UNDERSTAND YOU

• Telling that something is bothering you, that there is something you don’t like, that you are having second thoughts, or you are feeling hurt and surprised, etc.
• Expressing and controlling your feelings.
• Responding to verbal attacks, accusations, insults and/or threats.
• Talking to problematic interlocutors.

4. RESPONDING ASSERTIVELY TO ENSURE YOU UNDERSTAND OTHERS

• Coping with changes in interlocutor’s feelings and obtrusive behaviour.
• Active and critical listening.
• The three basic approaches: investigation, examination, verification.
• Following the interlocutor verbally and non-verbally.

5. BASIC PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION

• Judging character vs describing behaviour (also evaluating vs describing behaviour).
• Objective description vs subjective interpretation.
• Generalisations and assumptions vs concrete facts and observations.
• Allowing the interlocutor to save their honour.
• Achieving excellence in communication with the help of three perceptual positions and five communication tools.

6. PILLARS OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

• Active listening.
• Ability to say no.
• How to give criticism.
• How to accept criticism (especially when it is unjustified).
• Giving unpleasant news.
• Asking for a favour.

GOALS – Benefits for participants

• You will learn how to avoid aggressive, passive, and manipulative behaviour.
• You will find ways to establish rapport with interlocutors.
• You will be able to assertively engage in dialogue so that others understand you and you understand them.
• You will learn how to look at a situation from three different perspectives and choose the most appropriate communication tool accordingly.
• You will discover the so-called partnership relation model and learn to use it.
• You will learn ways to control yourself, others, and the situation.
• You will design a plan to improve your communication with your colleagues and contribute to building better interpersonal relations and stronger co-operation.

WORKSHOP

The workshop is organised in person or on-line using various platforms (Zoom, MS Teams). The number of hours per meeting is determined by agreement with the customer.

WORK METHOD

Workshops and training sessions consist of: short input sessions, discussions, individual, pair, and group work.

The techniques I employ aim to encourage participants to apply what they have learned to their daily routine immediately.

DURATION

Our basic programmes comprise 16 academic hours, while shorter programmes last 8 academic hours (these programmes involve fewer exercises and practical examples). We recommend a minimum of 24 academic hours if you seek to train your employees thoroughly.

NUMBER OF PARTICIPANTS

The recommended number of participants per workshop is 20; and 10 per training session. The client may, of course, opt for a larger number of participants. In this case, a training session becomes a workshop, and a workshop becomes a seminar/lecture (over 25 participants).

PRICE

The prices of workshops, trainings, seminars/lectures depend on their duration, the number of participants, and additional preparation time (i.e., analysing participants’ level of proficiency, designing customised solutions, etc.). The final price is always agreed upon in advance with the client.